July 2000

The trips to the cancer clinic need an antidote to offset the brutal reality. I determine to make each trip an adventure of some kind. There will be at least one memorable thing or a visit with someone special.

On this trip we will journey to the top of Grouse Mountain overlooking the City of Vancouver. It’s a semi cloudy spring day. No line-ups for the gondola, although it is almost to capacity. The reflections in the glass and the splendor of the vista make an awesome blended image, one that I successfully capture on film. This gondola ride is directly confronting one of my fears, the fear of heights that has plagued me all my life.

There are others shifting their weight, a child is whining, there’s a murmur of quiet conversation, there are people pointing out sights to each other, there’s the sounds of the cables running through the upper gears that connect us tenuously to the lift mechanisms. We feel the shock and agitation of the cage when we traverse the towers and I can feel myself breathing shallowly and hear my pulse in my ears. My hands and armpits are damp. I remind myself of how many trips up and down with thousands upon thousands of still living people this gondola makes.

At the top, my fear seems puny. The weather is foggy with patches of breath-taking views down into the city. At lunch we are so fortunate to get the very corner table with windows all around overhanging the canyon with the lift in view off to the side. It crosses my mind that I must ride down again at some time this afternoon. Hiking and exploring the top, watching the red-faced athletes completing the Grouse Grind, imagine climbing or riding a bike up this mountain, for fun apparently? There’s still snow in spots.

First Nations artists and craftsmen have a display of their wares. The totems are witness to the diversity of people visiting today. A kiosk sells the most decadent concoction of deep fried bannock liberally sugared. Delicious. A helicopter swoops in to land with its load of sight seeing tourists.

And its time to descend. And it’s no big deal. Has my fear been conquered?

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